Doctor Who

Around 11, my phone started ringing. And I danced to my ringtone for a while.... Then I remembered that I'm supposed to answer it when it does that, and I answered just in time. Over the line, I heard Kresten's voice say "Outside, your destiny awaits you *click*". I stupidly said "See ya" and I ran outside where there was a big white car thing in front of my house... It was a weird vehicle. It was also Kyle's. And  Kresten, Kyle, and Gavin came to give me more Doctor Who to watch! :3 MY WEEKEND WILL BE ADVENTUROUS AND 3D.


PS, if Rory dies one more time... I'm gonna throw a chinchilla to Saturn. Or something.  

Some people are inspirational.

"I am the only person that can make me miserable. I am the only person that can make me sad. I am the only person that can make me happy. So maybe instead of fixing everything else: I should just fix myself?" - Sam 


I hope you don't mind that I'm quoting you. 

Hello, 1 AM.

You know those days where you just kinda feel sad for no reason? Yeah that was today. Well, there are smallish reasons, I guess. And they are indeed very smallish.

But the littlest things... when they're on your mind... they seem to kind of fog everything up. And slowly weigh you down. It just hangs there in the front of your mind and you can't shake it. ...It's like when teeny tiny things get up really close to your face, and you can't see anything else but that thing. It looks big and blurry and ominous, but it isn't. Not in reality.
Rawrgh. This is hard to explain.

I just hate it when I'm lame enough to focus on my small sadnesses. It makes it hard to see the bigger picture.

I feel like writing something. Anything.

Hey. I'm just going to write. I don't know what about yet. But I'm just going to keep typing and see what comes out of this brain of mine.

So today it rained. It rained a lot. And for the first time in months, I slid my window open and rested on my window sill. Let the rain slap me in the face. Have you ever payed attention to each individual drop as it hits your skin? You can feel each one, really sort of sharp and cold. I like how rain wakes you up like that. It's like somebody snapping in your face while you've been sleeping. But for some reason you like it, and you get up. You'd think that the relentless pitter patter would become bothersome, but somehow, it's refreshing. It makes everything newer and brighter. Not darker and grayer. In fact, one of my favorite things about rain is that when the grass is pale and yellow, it sort of turns it into a deep gold. The white sidewalks become dark mirrors, too. You can look down into it and see your misshapen and dreamy reflection, and it doesn't look like you but at the same time it does. Then the rain slowly dampens you until you've finally realized you're soaked. But you don't really care. You just go on sitting in it anyway. And the way it smells... who would ever think that wet dirt and concrete could smell like that? Oh, and the best is when there's thunder. I've always compared it to the bass at a concert. How you can kind of feel it in your throat and your bones. It makes your heart beat faster when it rumbles really low, like it's hungry or something. Then sometimes it'll attack you with a sharp crack. I think that's why little kids are scared of thunder, cause it sounds like it wants to eat you. It doesn't scare me anymore, though. I mostly just soak it in. Let it shiver in me. I like shivering, cause usually that means it's time to go inside and make hot chocolate. And maybe a fort. Watch a movie or two. I like getting warm, afterwards. Like falling back asleep after the rain wakes you up so earnestly. Speaking of sleeping, it's almost 11:00... And I'm guessing that my brain still has a lot of thoughts to cover before it'll let me sleep. So I better get in bed. Night.

I need to be chastised rather harshly right now.

Dear  Sad and Dramatic Little Teenage Sabrina,

You know what normal people do when they're feeling down? They try and get happy. Did you know that? They don't go into a sneaky hate spiral, they go call their friends or help their mom or hug their puppy or something. You have friends. You have a mom. You may not have a puppy, but that's okay. Kittens are equally if not more adorable. 

But the point is. 

You can't stay sad for petty reasons. Those things may seem big right now, but they DO NOT MATTER. They are a small moment in an infinite amount of beginning-less and endless time. What matters is how you deal with your problems. What matters are the choices you make. Think of how big the universe is. How big are you? Insignificant. You're tiny problem means NOTHING to the universe. Literally. So don't expect it to, okay? These things come and go. They pass. It's LIFE. You're wasting your time flushed and fretting. Think of all the wonderful and meaningful things you could be doing with all this time and breath God gives you EVERY SINGLE DAY. He put that air in your lungs. He put that brain in your head. Are you seriously going to waste that? Because it wasn't created to be wasted. The things you do in this life on earth determine your eternity. Eternity is at stake, Sabrina. Shape up. 

Love, 

Smarter, Healthier, and Happier Sabrina.

:)

I feel like my old self again. Old friends, old routines, old music... I'm loving the familiarity that is my life right now. Don't get me wrong. I love change and without it life would be boring and whatnot and so-on. I've learned quite a lot from the events that took me by surprise and made me think outside of my little happy bubble. But I needed this. Not saying that I'm back in the "happy bubble".  I just needed to be slightly less heartbroken. And a heck of a lot stronger in the gospel. So I have been making goals and plans like I used to, and I'm spending way more time with my family. I've been thinking for myself and writing and drawing. I'm choosing to enjoying life. The people I wanted so badly to be happy are, and I am too. I really hoped it would turn out this way. I shall now...
1. BEG my mom to un-block Grooveshark (again)
2. Experience extreme withdrawal symptoms (foaming at the mouth, refusing food for days on end, etc.) when she says no.
3. Get in my PJ's (pajamas means you're going to bed, PJ's means you're staying up)
4. Brush ma teeth
3. Finish chemistry (gag me with a spoon)
4. Read my scriptures
5. Say my prayers
6. Go to bed. Ish.

(PS, that was A List of Things I Shall Now Do)

I like fall break.

I got an idea for a song while drying my hair. So I ran to the computer (hair still damp) and started typing. Then the ideas just keep coming and coming, and before I knew it, I had these lyrics on my screen. Lots of pent up creative energy has to come out sometime, I guess. I've been so busy with school and whatnot that I haven't done anything like this in a while. Felt great. :) Here are the lyrics:

You cut my hair in the foreboding pre-dawn

And in the dimness, I looked at the ground

The snip and slice of scissors laced my neck

Thought to myself, “I’ll have to wear scarves now”

You shaped my soul in the feathery white trees

And my lungs were altered in alien ways

You sank in freezing water, and took me with you

Now this heaving cold won’t go away

It’s too early to be up this late

And I can’t, no I can’t swallow

Cough and wheeze my heart out

I cough and wheeze my heart out

I’ve got this sickness 

That I can’t sleep through

You bumped the snow in the bright white midnight

And came knocking at my door too late

Tried the knob, but it had frozen over

It said... “Too early to be up this late."

The sun’s too bright

For my indoor eyes

And the snow’s so bright, it could melt

Yeah, the moon’s so bright

In my pale blue eyes

Yeah, the snow’s so bright

Don’t fall in!

Cause you’ll put angels on the ground

It’s too early to be up this late

And I can’t, no I can’t swallow

Cough and wheeze my heart out

I cough and wheeze my heart out

I’ve got this sickness 

That I can’t sleep through