Hey. I'm just going to write. I don't know what about yet. But I'm just going to keep typing and see what comes out of this brain of mine.
So today it rained. It rained a lot. And for the first time in months, I slid my window open and rested on my window sill. Let the rain slap me in the face. Have you ever payed attention to each individual drop as it hits your skin? You can feel each one, really sort of sharp and cold. I like how rain wakes you up like that. It's like somebody snapping in your face while you've been sleeping. But for some reason you like it, and you get up. You'd think that the relentless pitter patter would become bothersome, but somehow, it's refreshing. It makes everything newer and brighter. Not darker and grayer. In fact, one of my favorite things about rain is that when the grass is pale and yellow, it sort of turns it into a deep gold. The white sidewalks become dark mirrors, too. You can look down into it and see your misshapen and dreamy reflection, and it doesn't look like you but at the same time it does. Then the rain slowly dampens you until you've finally realized you're soaked. But you don't really care. You just go on sitting in it anyway. And the way it smells... who would ever think that wet dirt and concrete could smell like that? Oh, and the best is when there's thunder. I've always compared it to the bass at a concert. How you can kind of feel it in your throat and your bones. It makes your heart beat faster when it rumbles really low, like it's hungry or something. Then sometimes it'll attack you with a sharp crack. I think that's why little kids are scared of thunder, cause it sounds like it wants to eat you. It doesn't scare me anymore, though. I mostly just soak it in. Let it shiver in me. I like shivering, cause usually that means it's time to go inside and make hot chocolate. And maybe a fort. Watch a movie or two. I like getting warm, afterwards. Like falling back asleep after the rain wakes you up so earnestly. Speaking of sleeping, it's almost 11:00... And I'm guessing that my brain still has a lot of thoughts to cover before it'll let me sleep. So I better get in bed. Night.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Dear Sad and Dramatic Little Teenage Sabrina,
You know what normal people do when they're feeling down? They try and get happy. Did you know that? They don't go into a sneaky hate spiral, they go call their friends or help their mom or hug their puppy or something. You have friends. You have a mom. You may not have a puppy, but that's okay. Kittens are equally if not more adorable.
But the point is.
You can't stay sad for petty reasons. Those things may seem big right now, but they DO NOT MATTER. They are a small moment in an infinite amount of beginning-less and endless time. What matters is how you deal with your problems. What matters are the choices you make. Think of how big the universe is. How big are you? Insignificant. You're tiny problem means NOTHING to the universe. Literally. So don't expect it to, okay? These things come and go. They pass. It's LIFE. You're wasting your time flushed and fretting. Think of all the wonderful and meaningful things you could be doing with all this time and breath God gives you EVERY SINGLE DAY. He put that air in your lungs. He put that brain in your head. Are you seriously going to waste that? Because it wasn't created to be wasted. The things you do in this life on earth determine your eternity. Eternity is at stake, Sabrina. Shape up.
Smarter, Healthier, and Happier Sabrina.